1-17-05 4:15 pm
Boarded the bus in Natchez, sunny but cold. Having packed and re-packed my bags for days. Dealt with doubts and fears. Something inside still drove me forward. Was it insanity or just the need to test my inner self. I was soon to find out it was a mixture of both.

A brief lecture from the bus driver. The engine roared and the bus began to move. It was a hot bumpy ride, with the sun glaring in my eyes. A young black girl was struggling with her 2 kids. As I watched from the window the miles passing by. Thoughts of home still fresh in my mind. And fear of the unknown keeping this strange knot in my stomach.

In Baton Rouge, a short layover. This is where I meet Dave. What a strange fellow. Reminding you of an eccentric millionaire. That has done and seen all. With his bushy head of hair and walmart bag. He has decided to ride the bus lines all across the US. Sitting together, I listened to his stories all the way to Houston. What a curious fellow he was. But it passed the time.

Losing Dave in Houston, it's past midnight. A short wait here. Grabbed my bus to Harlingen. Buying my tickets here that would take me all the way to Merida. I only had a short time here. And the banks were not open. So the first gliche in the plan happened. I was not able to exchange my us currency for pesos. Only having a few snacks with me. And half of a hot flat Dr. Pepper. I tucked my few supplies away. A short wait and we are off to Brownsville. The last stop before the border.

Another short wait in Brownsville. No time again to exchange my money. No food, water, or money. Surely I have lost my mind. But I boarded my bus and off we went.

1-18-05 Tuesday 9:45am
Immigrations,, I am in Mexico. The bus stops and we are herded off. The officers check the bus over thoroughly. And we have to walk up to a check point. Here you push a button. If you get green, you walk on through. If you get red, they stop you and search your luggage. I got green. By 11:30am, I am sitting at the Matamoros bus station. Here I have to get my Visa card. And have a 3 hour layover. Getting the nerve to go inside the mostly spanish speaking station. I approach the Visa office. The man sitting there is having his breakfast. So I am told to sit and wait until he is finished. Thirty minutes later, I have my Visa in hand. Leaving the building I get another green light. And with a big sigh of relief. I pile my bags and myself outside to wait for my bus.

Not wanting to have to go back inside. I eat or drink nothing. Saving what I have. Not knowing when I will get the chance to purchase anything. Twice I am approached by kids selling gum. They ask once then pull the pitiful look asking again. Being turned down both times they move on. There is a young girl asking everyone for money. Had to turn her down 3 times. Guess that third time look on my face did the trick.

1:30pm I'm on the bus. Just me and 7 mexican men. What is with the cologne. The whole bus reeks of it. A quick run to the bathroom I settled down in my seat. Trying to prepare myself for what comes next. Daring a sip of my drink and a bite of candy, I need to sleep.

The bus rolls out, and I am heading South into the heart and beyond of Mexico. The bus driver slaps in a movie. It's a japanese movie with spanish sub-titles. The driver is singing to the radio. Watching from my window. I watch as the spanish scenery goes by. Catching a few brief naps as we go. Each little town we stop. Letting people off and boarding more. At this point I am totally surrounded by spanish. And just trying to keep my nerves in control. Every single thing is alien to me. And again I question my sanity. But this surely want be the last time.

5:30pm short break in Victoria. Having passed through several check points. Very sharp dressed Federalies. Hosting their rifles with no doubt on their faces that they will use them. Looking at my ticket. It's says a 7 hour layover here. I walked up to an official looking person, showing him my ticket. The next thing I know I am being shuffled to a different bus. That has nothing to do with what is on my ticket. And the bus is roaring out of the station.

Sitting dazed, tired and hungry. All I can think of is well. I'm still going South, having a little map that I referred to many times. With each bus station there was always confusion. Quickly finding out that you don't just ask one person. Completely surrounded by Spanish. I would have kissed the person that said one word of English. Having written down important words in Spanish. I was still having to struggle through each station trying to recognize words and what they meant.

Mostly they were all very helpful. Having no bus number on any of the tickets. I would show them my ticket and they would point to where I was to wait. Although departures were always announced. Even the Spanish speaking people would look around as confused as I was. But somehow I always managed to make my bus.

The bus roars and I am on my way to Tampico. Stopping in a small town. I am able to buy a bottle of water with my money. At this point I am so tired and worn out. That bottle of water looked like pure gold to me. Only taking small sips. Not knowing how long it will have to last.

1-19-05 1:45am
Sitting in Poza Rica now with a 2 hour layover. I am convinced that I have surely lost my mind. Hungry and thirsty in the same clothes that I left in. All I can think of if I can just get to Jim I will be alright. But the upside was, while waiting for my bus. I did get 2 marriage proposals. There are fat pigeons everywhere. So I decide to share a cracker with one that seems particular taken with me. The bus is late, but finally we are on the road again.

This will be a long ride to Villahermosa. A few short stops. And of course the drivers have to eat. I think they eat 10 times a day. Having to stand outside the little restaurant while everyone else ate. It was just as well. Because I surely didn't want my stomach messed up from the food.

Blasting down the long narrow roads. You just get dizzy after a while. And hope the drivers know what they are doing. Exhausted by now. My only focus was trying to sleep. Knowing that once in Merida I still had a large hurdle to overcome to get to Dzemul. It happened that most of my down time was during the day. And the main travel was at night. I did get to see some scenery. But by this point it was no longer important. I felt lost and alone, thinking this bus ride would never be over. Promising myself, that If I could just hold it together and get there. I could fly home. That light at the end of the tunnel thing. Had taken on a whole new meaning.

1-20-05 4:00pm
Villahermosa, so close now. With a 4 hour layover here. I am almost relieved not to be on a bus for awhile. Taking the time to clear my head. I am setting inside a large terminal. So I busy myself with my journal. Watching the things going on around me. And getting myself prepared for what I have to do next.

Having been told that my bus would leave from the other side of the terminal. Wagging my bags over there. I settled down to wait my 4 hours. During my wait I noticed this tiny Indian women setting alone also. She was the epitome of the old worn out Spanish women. A young girl had bought her a cup of soup. Although it seemed that she was not happy about being asked. Yanking the wrapper off of the soup. She handed it to the old women. The women held the cup as I had held my bottle of water earlier. She was trying to drink from the hot cup. When the young girl stomped off and came back with a spoon. Handing it to the old women, she snatched her bags up and walked away.

Mesmerized by this tiny women. As she set eating her soup. I noticed that her luggage was indeed a galvanized bucket. Between eating her soup. She would adjust things in her little bucket. As if that was all she owned in the world. With her legs tucked up under her in the chair. I was amazed at how she could do that at her age. Trying not to just stare. I had to wonder what her life had been like. And where was she going now. Somehow I gained strength from watching her. And knew at that point I would make it to Dzemul.

My wait had come to a end. It was time to gather my things and get on the bus. And then the worse part of my journey began. Approaching the boarding place. The man looked at my ticket. And said my bus would leave from the other side of the station. Just pointing as they do. Grabbing my bags and rushing to the other side. With my ticket in hand. I was directed by them, no, go back to the other side. Trying to explain to them, that they had sent me over there. The man just kept waving his arm for me to go back around. Doing so, for fear of missing my bus. I rushed back, and tried to board again. Again being turned away and sent back to the other side. Getting there, I just felt helpless. Again the same man sent me back over. At this point I was almost in tears. I was going to miss my bus. They were not going to let me on the bus. In desperation I went to the ticket office. She only spoke spanish. And waved me down to another window. This lady spoke no English. At this point I knew that Jim was going to have to try and get to me.

I was going to have to try and use a phone somehow. When a man walked up to me, asking with some English if I was ok. The girl at the window had called the in house Doctor. I was so glad to hear some english I almost cried. Telling him what had happened. I realized I had been pushed beyond my limits. And was starting to faint. Sinking to my knees, all I could think was not now.

Gently touching my arm, the Doctor kept saying Hospital? I assured him no. And between the broken languages. I was able to explain that I was just tired and hungry. And even though I had my ticket. They had made me miss my bus. Slowly the Doctor understood what had happened and took control. My ticket was lost now. A new one had to be bought. Knowing I had no pesos. I gave him 20 dollars, and with his pesos he bought my ticket to Merida, on a luxury busline.

This meant 2 hours more of waiting. But almost a hour of that had already gone by. He grabbed my bags and escorted me right to the spot I had been in the first place. Talking with one of the official guys there. Actually the same one that would not let me on the bus. Directed him where I was sitting and to come get me. When it was time to board the bus. He gave me his name. It was such a strange last name, I couldn't remember it. But I would sure love to send him a Thankyou note.

When the time came for the bus. I took no chances, and got in line for the bus. Boarding I vowed never again. And could not resist shooting a glare at the guy that had caused so much trouble for me.

Thinking the bus would never start. I resigned myself that I had done such a stupid thing taking this adventure. Then I heard the roar of the engine. Thankfully the seats were larger on this bus. I curled up using both seats. Covered myself with my little blanket and slept.

Merida
Finally having a little rest. But still feeling mostly brain dead. Another hurdle stood before me. I had printed a small street map of the town. And with Jim's instructions. Headed out of the bus station. Trying to figure out which way I was to go. At this point I had to walk to a microbus station to catch a bus to Dzemul. I had the address but which way to go. There streets are set up nothing like ours. With maps in hand, dazed and confused I started looking for street numbers.

Of course the first street I took was wrong. Jim had said head west I think. I had a compass. But at this point, it was merely something hanging around my neck. Realizing I needed to go back the other way. I turned around took another deep breath. And shot off into the busy town of Merida.

Very narrow sidewalks, buses and cars whizzing down the streets, people everywhere. I was sure, no one would ever see me alive again. When a man stumbled over to a tree I was passing and threw up at my feet. Out loud I said Weeellllll GOOD!!!! At that point I knew I was still alive. Was it the sarcasm or the sound of my own voice. I will never really know. Walking on finally finding the street number I am looking for. Do I go right or left? And whats with all of the spitting?? Men, Women, Children they all spit spit spit. I half expected to see the dogs spitting too. For what ever reason I hung a left. Finally finding something that looked like a court yard, I entered.

With map in hand I approached a group of men. What did I have to lose at this point. I was tired hungry, and had had enough. I pointed to my map saying Dzemul. Bus to Dzemul. One guy waved his hand shaking his head, saying taxi. So I gave the universal confused look. And said bus Dzemul, and shrugged my shoulders. He waved for me to follow him. So off we went down the street to another court yard. He pointed for me to go in there and off he went. Approaching another group of men. Doing the same thing again with my map. A young man stepped around the group of men. And with some wonderful sounding broken English, he spoke. I almost hugged him. My first negotiation was at hand. Not having to wait a hour. And for 15 dollars US money, he would take me then, and find Komchen my final destination for me.

We had a bargain. I think at that point I would have paid 100 dollars. He grabbed my bags, and loaded me in the front seat, and off we went. This trip would take about a hour. So we practiced our English and Spanish to pass the time. I think this was the first time I laughed since leaving Natchez. It was a miracle that I had stumbled across No'e Palama.

Thinking back now. If all of the chaos had not happened in Villahermosa. I would have arrived in Merida 2 hours earlier. With no way to know how differently it would have all turned out.

Driving into Dzemul the buses always stop around the public square. No'e was letting another passenger out. And telling me that he was going to get directions to Komchen Ranch. When I turned to my left. And saw a man setting on a brick wall reading a book.

When my mind finally came into focus. I looked again and couldn't believe my eyes. It was Jim. I started trying to wave at him through the dark windows. Looking up he threw his hand up, and looked back at his book. Guess something clicked with him too, making him look back. At this point I am waving wildly and trying to get out of the bus. When he jumps up from his sitting place, crossing the street. By that time I had gotten out of the bus. And almost knocked him off of his feet.

Telling No'e this is Jim and thinking I am saved. I had made it. Paying for my ride and Thanking him for just everything. Jim and I headed off to the office. To send a email home, that I had made it. (That Jim at the left connecting with the Internet.)

I'm not sure when I stopped babbling to Jim. I'm sure I was making no sense at all. Sitting down to write my email. My brain finally gave up and little thoughts were there at all. Managing to type out a few sentences to home. Jim grabbed my bags stopping to buy me a coke. And off we went for the almost one mile walk to the Ranch.

1-20-05 Dzemul
Sitting in some outside chairs. Having my first Mexican coke. It did taste different from ours. But it was cold and wet. And I needed that energy surge. But most of all I had Jim in my sights. And felt safe.

Jim offered for us to sit awhile. But I downed my coke, eager to finish this part of the journey. Off we went down the street. Stopping only for Jim to buy some hand made corn tortillas. They smelled really good. But at this point my stomach had tightned up. And I wanted nothing to eat. Now if somebody had handed me a gallon of cold milk. I would have embarassed myself and every one around me.

While drinking my coke. An'a Maria drove up to get the office key. So I finally got to meet her, if just briefly. My first impression was. What a beautiful friendly woman. She is almost 70 but sure doesn't look it. All of this would change.

Down the street we went. I wasn't able to appreciate my surroundings just yet. My head was still numb from my traveling and experiences. All I wanted to do was get to the Ranch. And find a quiet place to sit. To just talk with Jim. I needed English and a familiar face.

Walking down the long white road to the ranch -- the first of many, many such walks. The country here is mostly rock and limestone. And what topsoil there was in this area. Was blown away by the hurricane Isadora that hit them hard 2 years ago. Think I am remembering the name right. Later we found out that the town stood in about 3 feet of water for days after.

Other than the missing topsoil. There is plenty of evidence of the devastation left behind. Some has been rebuilt. But there is so much that just had to be abandoned. Very few trees of any size. Most of the largest trees were broken down to almost nothing but memories it was even there.

On the white road. Some of my senses are starting to return. You enter through a large green iron gate, then walk. Eventually walking past a really pretty fish pond. Filled with guppys. Pronounced goopies! Surrounded by pretty flowers and small banana trees. Finally we reach the bungalow/ruin we will stay in. There are only 3 buildings left of many. That are still livable. Ours not being one of the 3. Ours is more like camping out. But we are able to use the bathroom next door. Which consist, of a sort of out house type toilet. And cold water shower. There is also a sink on the back porch. So this makes it nice. This is the place I chose to spend my quiet times during the days. Watching the black iguanas and the wonderful birds. Subject to change and it did.

In the warmest part of the day. I would zip in and out of the shower. And hand wash my clothes in the sink. Personal note,,, do not use too much soap. With the hard water, you ain't gonna get it out. There was a rope across the porch to hang the wet clothes. But you needed to have them dry before night fall. There was so much moisture in the night air. It would make them really moist by morning. Even though the wind blew almost constantly.

Back to where I was, before I got off the subject. Reaching our ruin. We dropped the bags in our one room sleeping quarters. Jim had gotten a local woman to hand make me a beautiful red hammock. He had been using his tent. Never having been in a hammock. This would truly be a challenge. But I was sure gonna give it a try. More on that later.

Going over some rules with me. We headed down to the Hacienda for fresh water. This is an everyday ritual. Thankfully Jim had an extra one gallon jug. I was suppose to grab one on the way. But that was another thing that went awry. So here we go with our water jugs.

Meeting the 3 dogs that live there. They are called Indian dogs. And all 3 just wonderful. It took them a little while to warm up to me. But one by one we all became friends. Jim told me their names. And I wrote them down the way they sounded. So the actual spelling will be incorrect. First Lay-yo See-yo came to me (in the picture at the right). A beautiful brindle colored dog. Very full of himself, he danced around and made me feel welcomed. These Indian dogs are somewhat unlike our dogs here. They are very independent, yet enjoying all the attention you are willing to give them. They are very fleet footed and agile. Chasing iguanas across stone walls, up steps and onto the top of some of the houses. And never checking up. They looked like a mixture of gazelle, and antelope with absolute no fear of heights.

Next we were to meet the mostly shy, Ni'na. She is a blonde dog that was rescued by Ana Maria. Finding it hard to trust. But will take a chance every now and then for a good belly rub.

And then there was Tayla, shown eyeing me as I eat, at the right. Such a sweet smaller sized brown pup. She stole my heart with her big ole smile she greets you with. All a wiggle and showing her teeth in a smile like manner. She approaches with caution. And just hopes that you will like her. Tayla stayed by my side, most of my visit. Making it alot more pleasant. Since missing my little pups at home, was pretty overwhelming.

Having met the dogs, I was beginning to relax a little more. And on down to the hacienda we went. Jim showing me this and that. Not much sticking in my still numb brain. The kitchen is an outside building. Very open and air-ish with screen doors. I was introduced to the 2 local cats. One a mix and the other a siamese named Thai. Very friendly the both of them. That added to my comfort. I had critters to play with. Seeing immediately that I would not be playing with the iguanas. Some were very large, that I would not have attempted. But even the smaller ones were so quick. There was no way I could ever catch one.

In the kitchen Jim shows me how to purify my water. Water from the sink, then you stick this air line in the jug. Much the same as you would an aquarium. After 3 minutes of bubbling your water. It should be safe to drink from, well I didn't ask.

During this time, Ana Maria drives up in her little silver volkswagon. She comes into the kitchen, insisting that I have a plate of food. Quickly whipping up a black bean, rice, fried egg with homemade bread plate. And talking in pretty good English, way faster than I could absorb. Then in a flash she was gone. Sitting there looking at this giant plate of food. I looked at Jim and told him to dig in.

Everyone cleans their own dishes. This was not a problem after the first day. That was the only meal I had in her kitchen. Jim and I grabbed our water, and walked back to our ruin. Getting things arranged for the night. There were some really cute Mayan Bees living in some holes in the walls. And many many little scurrying mice at night. So nothing was left on the floor at night. Personal note here was,, don't forget to make sure everything is zipped up tight.

Having told Jim some of my travel stories. He is determined to complain to the ADO busline of my abuse in Villahermosa. Feels good to have someone on your side. Although my trip had been a bit different than when he came down. He seemed astonished that I made it. Of course he knows alot of spanish. I knew none and had no pesos. So he says I really accomplished a big thing. Right then I was still so tired, not much was registering with me. Other than I had made it and was safe.